If something we said can be
interpreted two ways, and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do
something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you
already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say
whatever you have to say during
Christopher Columbus did not
need directions, and neither do
If it itches, it will be
scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we
never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not
proof of how little we care
If we ask what is wrong and you
say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are
lying, but it is just not worth
If you ask a question you don't
want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is